Father's Day - The Chemistry of Balance

Today is Father's Day and it can bring a mixture of emotions for many of us. When you think of your father, would you create a mnemonic that looked like this?

F - Faithful
A - Available
T - Teacher
H - Honest
E - Energetic
R - Resourceful

Or like this?

F - Fights
A - Absent
T - Tyrant
H - Hateful
E - Exploitation
R - Rejection

If your childhood was one of "Father Knows Best" or "My Three Sons" reruns, you might respond as in the first mnemonic but if your childhood was like "All in the Family," or much worse, you might give answer number two.

It is said that as many as 25% of all children today don't have their father physically present in their lives and the number increases dramatically when you consider the number of fathers who are there physically but are not engaged mentally or emotionally. A father at home can mean a whole lot or nothing at all. In my own father's life, the Great Depression and WWII, and my generation as well, fathers were to be the "strong silent type," loving from a distance, a distance that could be seen by the child as a chasm that could not be broached. Many a father was an overly strict disciplinarian, seen as cruel and unusual punishment - following the unbiblical admonition (not found in the bible) to not "spare the rod lest you spoil the child."

My Dad cared but his focus was providing for his family. I knew he loved me but he did not show it well. I myself struggled with that as well, seeing my main job as "bringing home the bacon." I knew my Dad was emotionally distant, and I tried to do better. I think I was successful in that my connection with my children is closer than mine with my Dad but not in the full sense it could have been. Now that my boys are fathers, I see their struggles with this as well. I took a step forward and am proud to see that my sons, and sons-in-law, are doing the same. They are all great fathers in their own right.

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Fathers need to strike a Balance
Between their Need to Provide
And the Needs of their Children

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Today though things are a'changing. More fathers, when they are engaged, are being "Mister Mom" and sharing the load with their wives for the betterment of the family as a whole. I found this great list on the meaning of being a Dad by Eric Novak, the father of four. It is one fathers thoughts on what he wants to be for his children, now that he is a father.

What are some things that God says about Himself as a father and how does His Word instruct us to be as fathers to our children? The word "father" occurs over 1100 times in scripture. Here are some verses on fathers and family:

Joshua 24:15 (NLT) - "...as for me and my family, we will serve the LORD."

• We as fathers need to put God first in our families.
  

Ephesians 5:25 (NIV) - Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.

• We must love our children's mother unconditionally.
  

Proverbs 22:6 (NLT) - Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.

• We should teach our children to be responsible,
  

Proverbs 23:13 (NLT) - Don't fail to discipline your children. They won't die if you spank them.

• And enforce discipline and give fair punishments,
  

Collosians 3:21 (NLT) - Fathers, do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged.

• But do not be overbearing.
  

Genesis 49:28 (NIV) - ...this is what their father said to them when he blessed them, giving each the blessing appropriate to him.

• We should bless our children,
  

Deuteronomy 32:7 (NKJV) - "Remember the days of old, Consider the years of many generations. Ask your father, and he will show you; Your elders, and they will tell you:

• And create memories.
  

1 Kings 9:4 (NIV) - "...walk before me in integrity of heart and uprightness... and do all I command and observe my decrees and laws... Proverbs 20:7 (NLT) - The godly walk with integrity; blessed are their children who follow them.

• As Fathers, we must have integrity and follow God's commandments,
  

Matthew 5:48 (NLT) - ...you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect.

• Be like Christ as best we can,
  

2 Kings 22:2 (NIV) - He did what was right in the eyes of the LORD and walked in all the ways of his father..., not turning aside to the right or to the left.

• And teach our children how to live also, for generations.
  

Proverbs 17:6 (NLT) - Grandchildren are the crowning glory of the aged; parents are the pride of their children.

• We should build a lasting relationship with our children, and grandchildren,
  

Matthew 7:11 (NIV) - If you, ...know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him!

• Give good gifts to them,
  

Proverbs 13:22a (NIV) - A good man leaves an inheritance for his children's children.

• And plan for generations to come.
  

Psalms 103:13 (NLT) - The LORD is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him.

• As Fathers, we are called to love our children,
  

Proverbs 23:24 (NLT) - The father of godly children has cause for joy. What a pleasure to have children who are wise.

• And delight in them always.
  

And if your father forsakes you, God will be your father. He is the Father to the Fatherless.

Psalms 27:10 (NLT) - Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD will hold me close.
Psalms 68:5 (NLT) - Father to the fatherless, defender of widows — this is God, whose dwelling is Holy.

Being a father is both wonderful and frightening all at once. Now that our children are grown and have children of their own, my wife and I look back in amazement that we ever made it. We are blessed to have many fond memories to warm our hearts for the years ahead, with more coming everyday with our grandchildren.

Happy Father's Day to all of our sons and sons-in-law. We love you all!

Psalms 71:18 (NLT) - Now that I am old and gray, do not abandon me, O God. Let me proclaim Your power to this new generation, Your mighty miracles to all who come after me.